The way you communicate with other people has a tremendous impact on the success you experience. You’re always communicating your thoughts, perceptions and ideas to others—whether you realize it or not.
The alpha male is extremely aware that the vast majority of the way he communicates to the world—studies have shown up to 93 percent—is done through his body language, facial expressions, eye movements and voice quality and not the specific words he uses. Here are some key distinctions that a poised, confident and powerful alpha male does—and does not do—when he speaks:
• His number-one goal during every conversation is to be influential and persuasive enough to have other people take his point of view, draw conclusions from his frame of reference and live in his “reality.”
• He understands that it’s not only what he says that’s important—how he says it is important.
• His “default” speaking voice is low, controlled, authoritative and powerful.
• He speaks at the appropriate volume at all times.
• He speaks up all the time—unless he consciously chooses to speak softly for effect.
• He speaks clearly.
• He enunciates his words perfectly.
• He even overenunciates his words because he realizes that, although it may sound slow and awkward to him at times, speaking that way makes him sound clear, confident, normal and extremely effective to others.
• His diction is precise, sharp and crisp.
• He makes sure he is in a peak and appropriate emotional state before he speaks—and then delivers his message.
• His body language is strong, powerful and charismatic because he understands that it bolsters the message he delivers.
• He chooses to speak on his own timetable—and never feels pressured to speak on anyone else’s.
• He takes the time to think about what he says before he says it—and the process gets faster over time if he constantly practices this skill.
• He demonstrates the voice quality that he consciously chooses—and never chooses one just because he knows it’s what others expect of him.
• He understands that being emotionally neutral until the very last moment before expressing the appropriate emotion is extremely powerful.
• He understands the power and effectiveness of “pregnant pauses” in his speaking patterns—and he uses them when they are appropriate.
• He uses interesting, clever and appropriate stories, metaphors and analogies.
• He takes advantage of the opportunity to inject humor into conversation every time it is appropriate.
The alpha male is direct and to the point. He delivers his message to others directly and succinctly. He is confident in who he is and what he has to say. That confidence comes across clearly in the words he uses, the words he doesn’t use, his voice quality and his body language—even body language during phone conversations, when it isn’t visible to others.
The alpha male simply assumes that others will understand what he’s saying. He assumes that they’ll realize that his intent is honorable. He assumes that what he has to say will be respected, even if other people don’t always agree with him.
The unique ability to assume that the very best outcome will occur during every conversation is a tremendous strength of the alpha male. Being highly assumptive is one of the most charismatic, influential and persuasive qualities a person can posses.
When you have something to say—just say it. The fewer words you need to use to get your point across, the better.
Break the habit of prefacing what you have to say with qualifying statements like, “I know you may not like this but…” Just assume people will like what you have to say. You’ll be surprised just how many times the other person will “buy into your frame” because you “sold” your point of view so effectively with congruent words, voice quality, facial expressions and body language. Keep in mind that people are influenced on a subconscious level.
When you catch yourself thinking about what the person you’re talking to will think when you say what you think, you’re not operating from your own “frame”—and thinking way too much.
Never frame your message so that you have to work hard at getting others’ approval or convincing them of anything you have to say. The person you are speaking with will instinctively sense that weakness in you and respond accordingly. The unfortunate thing for you is that it doesn’t matter if you’re 100 percent accurate with your message. If you come across with uncertainty or a lack of conviction, whatever you say will often be greeted with doubt or resistance. Take responsibility when those situations occur and learn from them. Don’t blame the other person—blame yourself. You’re the person who left that door open for doubt and resistance.
Think about what you’re going to say before you say it. Be patient with yourself because it may take some time to break your existing patterns. Practice MANformation speaking strategies until they become a habit that you execute without much thought.
Editor’s note: Six-time national-champion bodybuilder and success coach Skip La Cour is the creator of MANformation, a powerful personal-development and fitness program for men that is based on the qualities and actions of the world’s most powerful, influential and charismatic men. It is a structured series of alpha leadership strategies for transforming you into the man you really want to be. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now, what you have achieved so far or your age. The MANformation program will help you become a better version of you—step-by-step and one strategy at a time. To learn more about the MANformation personal-development program, visit www
.MANformation.com. Sign up for the free weekly e-newsletter, and you’ll get a free alpha leadership e-book.