Warning: The following information is explicit and may offend some readers.
Q: You mentioned anal sex in one of your recent columns. Do women really like that? I've fantasized about it, but it's hard for me to believe that any woman would actually get into that type of sex act. In case I'm lucky enough to find such a woman, can you offer any tips on how to go about it?
A: Oh, yes, baby, many women definitely like anal sex. The problem is, most women aren't aware of how pleasurable it can be. There's a growing number of women'most in their 40s'who have found that anal sex is the best way for them to have orgasms. There are many nerve endings in and around the anus that offer women (and men, by the way) myriad enjoyable sensations; however, if people aren't comfortable with the idea of anal sex, or if they try it without knowing a few basic tips, that type of intercourse can be much less than charming. So here are some things to keep in mind when you find your dream girl:
1) The anal sphincter is a very powerful muscle, and it should be sufficiently warmed up before anything at all is inserted into the anal canal. You can accomplish that by gently rubbing the anus with lubricant. Slowly, ever so slowly, begin to insert your finger into the opening'just the opening. Wait until you feel the muscles begin to relax, then instead of going deeper, use two fingers instead of one to help the sphincter muscle stretch and relax even further.
2) Lubrication is imperative in anal sex. Whether it be your saliva or the latest erotic chemical goo claiming to be just like vaginal fluid, be sure you slather that stuff on thick. That serves two purposes. The obvious purpose is to lessen the friction of the penis in the anal canal. The not-so-obvious reason for tons of lubricant is to dilute any fecal matter that may find its way to the outside. I know it's not a pretty thing to talk about, but it's very, very necessary. You have to admit that most women don't give themselves enemas every day'if ever'and that's the only way you could be absolutely sure that the intestines are free and clear. So increasing the amount of lubricant helps.
3) Here's a great tip on helping your lover come from anal sex. Enter her in the doggie-style position (her on all fours and you kneeling behind her). Then reach your hand around to rub her clit and vulva. Inserting your fingers into her vagina will also give her and you a thrill. You will be able to feel your penis through her vaginal walls, and while you're rubbing her G-spot, you can also give yourself a little extra sensation. (Personally, I like to do that myself while I'm having anal sex. My lover always gets jolts of pleasure when I surprise him with that trick.) But try to concentrate more on rubbing her clitoris while you do that. For some strange reason there's an incredibly erotic feeling of not having anything inside your vagina yet still feeling the thrusting and fullness of your lover inside of you.
4) Never, ever insert your penis into your lover's vagina after you've been having anal sex'unless, of course, you take a break and clean yourselves thoroughly. Anal sex can be a very beautiful and exciting act, but there are still many types of bacteria that thrive in that area. Transplanting those little critters into the vagina can spell disaster as far as vaginal infections are concerned. If you do slip up and enter her vagina after anal sex'hey, it could happen with all that lubricant you'll be using'don't freak out. Gently excuse yourself and go into the bathroom for a nice wet and warm washcloth so that you can clean your lover's love box and continue on. She'll love you forever for being so considerate.
5) When trying anal sex for the first time, it's a good idea to do it in the shower. That affords a much cleaner environment'any possible mess could be washed quickly away, and using lots of soap and bubbles is a great way to lubricate too. The warm water is also a great way to help your lover relax.
Editor's note: Laura Moore is IRONMAN's resident sexpert, a science writer for Penthouse, the host of the radio talk show 'The Health Nuts' and the author of Sex Heals. Send your questions and comments to her at www.thefitdiva.com.