The System

The word misogynistic is the first one that came to my mind as I began this book. I immediately thought I was reading a training manual for men who just want to get laid, written by none other than Charlie Harper, Charlie Sheen’s womanizing character on “Two and a Half Men.” The System is actually written by Roy Valentine.

Keep in mind that my perspective is a feminine one—and that the book is written for men who are “hunting” women. Nevertheless, I must reluctantly admit that a lot in its pages is right on the money and will help guys, um, score. For example—and something IRON MAN readers will like:

“I recommend every guy go to the closest gym today and start working out. Reason #1: Girls can’t help staring at a guy who has muscles. Reason #2: Most guys are skinny, fat, badly shaped. Having some muscles gives you a leg up on the competition. Not having muscles does not prevent you from getting laid, but it will make it significantly easier to score if you do have muscles.”

Now the muscle hook might not be true for all women, but it’s true enough in most cases. In fact, the book generalizes a lot, implying that all women will react the same to the techniques presented, which isn’t true. For example, he says never to touch a girl you just met; she’ll lose interest immediately. Of course a woman doesn’t want to be groped, but a polite hand on the back or a sensitive arm touch during conversation can produce a connection for many women.

Valentine lays out all of his techniques, from eye contact to introducing yourself (don’t say she’s beautiful; she’ll know she can have you and you reduce your chances immediately) to reading body language to conversation (always steer it to be about her) to presenting yourself as a challenge (she must not think she can have you easily). Valentine presents lots of examples and even tells tales from his own “adventures” that prove his points.

Some of the book is common sense—at least from my feminine perspective—but those who want to be players will want to read it over and over. I objected to much of the tone—for example the author’s classifying sex as a game—but I’m not the audience. As I said, a lot of his techniques are perceptive. So after shaking off my disgust, I found myself saying, “You know, he’s right.”

And get this: Toward the end of the book he even provides simple recipes you can cook up for your date, because, he says, “Cooking for a woman who has come to your house on a date is what I call the guaranteed panty dropper.” Hmm—a little offensive, but he’s got a point.

—Becky Holman