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Find a Way to Differentiate Yourself


Powerful leaders are fully aware of the gifts and talents they have to offer the world. They also have a strong belief that it is their responsibility—even moral obligation—to share their gifts and talents with the people who look to them for guidance.

Leaders know their power. More important, they demonstrate their power. Anything less would be a disappointing disservice to themselves and the people who count on them.

Compare that empowering “take” on reality to that of less dominant and beta males, who have been conditioned to believe that they should play down their gifts and talents. They have adopted the belief that they should wait and see whether anyone notices them. Only then, in their minds, are they truly worthy of respect for what they have to offer the world. In their thought processes, selling themselves would be cocky and arrogant. Assuming that other people actually need what they have to offer—without first being asked—would be downright pushy and offensive.

Many challenges lurk behind the belief system of less dominant and beta males. Often they never appreciate their gifts and talents, always subconsciously downplaying them and trying not to look bad in other people’s eyes. They usually never step into their true power.

Even if they do learn to appreciate their gifts, they struggle with sharing them. They wait until asked but admit that they’re never asked as often as they should be. They lack the courage to demonstrate their power. They do not confidently assume that other people need their leadership, expertise and guidance.

Whether you choose to participate, the competition for the best opportunities in life is fierce. The alpha male is always looking for creative ways to differentiate himself from his competition and become the very best at what he does. It’s an example of how the alpha male creates his own reality—then boldly and confidently persuades the world to willingly and enthusiastically accept the version of reality he’s created.

The alpha male has a drive to be the best among his peers; however, he understands that being considered “the best” is simply a matter of perspective.

He understands that, if he can discover and accentuate the unique quality he possesses, he’ll put himself in a category all by himself. At the very least he positions himself in a category where there is less competition. In other words, the fewer people he competes against in a particular category, the better chance he has of being considered the best.

The alpha male creatively spins his situation to show himself in the very best light. He differentiates himself by pointing out that he’s the youngest or oldest in his group; the most or least educated person with the most success, if that distinction gets the job done; the most gifted diplomat or the biggest SOB, if that separates him from the pack. Being a stable family man among his peers might be his focus or perhaps being the wildest and most carefree bachelor around. He might even separate himself from his competition by his ethnicity or gender if that’s accurate and effective. The alpha male does whatever it takes to get the job of differentiating himself done.

Differentiation has a positive effect not only on other people but on you as well. It takes shape as inner confidence that radiates from every pore of your body.

Selling yourself well to others comes down to how you see yourself—not necessarily how you think the world should see you. Playing down their gifts and talents inadvertently makes less dominant and beta males see themselves as second-tier individuals—even when they score amazing accomplishments. Their message to the world says, “I’m not quite as good as I’d like to be.” They unconsciously communicate their disempowerment through their body language, facial expressions and voice quality. That attitude radiates from every pore.

Become a creative genius and spin your story in a way that showcases you in the very best light. You’re not lying or bragging but simply telling the truth. From this day forward, make the commitment to never sell yourself short again. Leave that to the less dominant and beta males.

The biggest challenge for many people after discovering their gifts and talents is mustering up enough courage to demonstrate them. I’ll discuss this challenge and how to overcome it in the next MANformation column.

Editor’s note: Six-time national-champion bodybuilder and success coach Skip La Cour is the creator of MANformation, a powerful personal-development and fitness program for men that is based on the qualities and actions of the world’s most powerful, influential and charismatic men. It is a structured series of alpha leadership strategies for transforming you into the man you really want to be. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life right now, what you have achieved so far or your age. The MANformation program will help you become a better version of you—step-by-step and one strategy at a time. To learn more about the MANformation personal-development program, visit www.MANformation.com. Sign up for the free weekly e-newsletter, and you’ll get a free alpha leadership e-book.

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